Living with a different (k)NOwledge about the soft revolution of a sweet revelation in your dissolved soul losing all restraint...


"Strenggenommen gibt es keine Zen-Meister, weil Zen nichts zu lehren hat. Seit Urzeiten haben diejenigen, die Zen erfahren haben, Möchtegern-Schüler von sich gewiesen, nicht nur, um deren Aufrichtigkeit auf die Probe zu stellen, sondern um eine offene Warnung auszusprechen, daß die Erfahrung des Erwachens (satori) nicht durch Suchen gefunden werden kann und in keinem Fall etwas ist, das man sich aneignen oder kultivieren kann."
Alan Watts, in: Anmerkung zu BEAT-ZEN, SPIEßER-ZEN UND ZEN (1958)


"Das Ziel der Lebensweise im Zen ist die Erfahrung des Erwachens oder der Erleuchtung (in gängigem psychologischem Jargon sollten wir einsicht sagen), in der der Mensch der Lähmung, der Doppel-Bindung entflieht, in welche die dualistische Auffassung von Selbstkontrolle und Selbstbewußtsein ihn verstrickt. Im Lauf dieser Erfahrung überwindet der Mensch sein Gefühl von Getrenntsein oder Gespaltensein - nicht nur von sich selbst als dem höheren, kontrollierenden Selbst gegenüber dem niederen, kontrollierten Selbst, sondern von dem gesamten Universum anderer Menschen und Dinge. (...) Nun gibt es nichts zu versuchen, denn was Augenblick für Augenblick auch aufkommen mag, es wird akzeptiert, das Nicht-Akzeptieren mit eingeschlossen. Eine Sekunde lang scheint der Denker sich mit der Unmittelbarkeit eines Spiegelbildes auf den Fluß der Gedanken einzustellen, und dann dämmert es ihm plötzlich, daß es weder einen Spiegel noch ein Bild gibt. Es gibt nichts als den Fluß der Gedanken - einen nach dem anderen ohne Interferenz -, und der Verstand kennt SICH wirklich SELBST. Es gibt keinen separaten Verstand, der daneben steht und zusieht. (...) Denn Selbstbewußtsein ist nicht länger ein Seinszustand mit zwei Seelen, welcher, zufällig genug, auch einen Zustand von Unentschlossenheit, Bibbern und psychischer Lähmung bedeutet. Zu so etwas kann Selbstbewußtsein werden, wenn wir versuchen, es dualistisch zu behandeln, wenn wir die Konventionen von Denken und Sprechen als wirklich nehmen, welche das ICH vom SELBST trennen, wie auch die Seele vom Körper, den Geist von der Materie, den Wissenden vom Gewußten. (...) Daher rührt, daß im Zen der Meister den Schüler tatsächlich nichts lehrt, sondern ihn zwingt, alles selbst herauszufinden, und folglich von sich nicht als einem Meister denkt, da Meister lediglich vom Gesichtspunkt des nicht erleuchteten Schülers existieren."
Alan Watts, in: ZEN UND KONTROLLE (1958)


WHO IS ASKING ANYTHING? NOBODY! THE CENTER OF YOUR EGO IS EMPTY! SOME SAY THERE IS NO ANSWER AND THERE WAS NEVER ANY ANSWER, BUT THE TRUTH IST: THERE IS NO QUESTION! ANY QUESTION HAS GOT AN ANSWER, BUT IN THE END YOUR "VERY LAST QUESTION" WILL BE: WHY DO THESE QUESTIONS EXIST AT ALL? BECAUSE YOUR EGO IS ASKING THEM! AS SOON AS THE EXPERIENCE OF THE INFINITE HOLE OVERCOMES THE ILLUSION OF EGO YOU GOT NO QUESTION ANY LONGER - AND THAT IS THE REAL ANSWER CALLED "NO ANSWER" - GOOD LUCK MY FRIEND, IT IS MUCH EASIER AS YOU BELIEVE: IT HAPPENS SOME DAY ANYWAY WHEN YOU ARE PREPARED ENOUGH NOT TO WANT IT ANYMORE ;-) This is just the personal experience of a very normal NO-ZEN-MASTER who was searching for answer til the body was exhausted enough to influence my brain: i was not able to ask anything any longer. Frustration and pain was intense enough to make me even fear i would turn insane now because my ego had NO CONTROL at all anymore. Funny that exactly this unecstatic estate was the turning point: suddenly i felt the infinite hole flowing thru my cells and even the cells became the hole themselves. In the very end it was like "jumping" with my consciousness THRU THE TOTALLY EMPTY MATTER to its other side that was just the same side: no answer "beyond" but no more question in front now. Difficult to describe - maybe you know what i mean, maybe not. IT DOESN'T MATTER - IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE! Feel reality as the "big truth" and forget the "last questions", they are just an illusion of the screaming ego that is shocked about its own existence as long as you believe in "existence" as something existing... EGO & EMPTINESS are not paradox but the same! READY? STEADY, GO! (Comment of Sebastian Nutzlos, 6th May, 2012)

FRÖSCHIN (c) De Toys, 7.6.2013 (Südpark, Ddorf)
FRÖSCHIN (c) De Toys, 7.6.2013 (Südpark, Ddorf)

"Schon jetzt bedienen sich die Menschen zahlloser Vorrichtungen, um die Arbeit, die bei Tieren durch körperliche Organe erledigt wird, zu ersetzen, und das würde sicher der Tendenz entsprechen, auch die Denkfähigkeit des Gehirns nach außen zu verlegen und so die Herrschaft über das Leben elektromagnetischen Ungeheuern auszuliefern."



Tom de Toys, 25./26.12.2009 (original myspam-Version!)

(Everybody Is Nobody)


My dear Friend, today is not the time to tell you a new positive poem. Today i want to talk to you in a simple straight way about SOME SECRET LEVELS OF OUR SOCIAL SOUL that touch and move us every day although mass media ignores them. I will try to explain why there is no difference between presidents and the poorest among us at the end. In my function as a poet i write down your own deepest wisdom. But the real author behind the person is always much bigger than the brain that catches the sentences thru telepathical contact to the white (w)hole. Because the hidden author is the infinite emptiness itself. Many artists know that but feel ashamed to betray their true paranormal meditation source of inspiration in periods of missing respect to spiritual levels of consciousness beyond religions. They are afraid to be called psychotic or too romantic for the cool needs of an increasing cyberspace identity system. But who calls them crazy? The fears of people that are afraid themselves to face truth as they feel forced by society to keep cool. Boring normal people like you and me, my friend. That's why i decided to tell you the truth today. Better we start now than never. No matter how young or old you are: if you see what i see we share the same simple wisdom. So please feel free to exchange my pseudonym for your own name! The author himself is just a nobody like everybody including our celebrities and all leaders of worldwide organizations. Everybody is finally nobody, everybody does any job just to survive somehow in her & his body as long as possible. We are all depending on each other. Even if you feel free it is because other members of Planet Earth allow you to be free. We live in total interaction. This is the reason why nobody wrote this speech til now: postmodern life seems to be an open golden cage and everybody has to accept it silently. But if you woke up to ask yourself if there is any SENSE OF LIFE and how big universe really is to define our own position in this astronomical wonder, you should dare to talk officially about these last questions that make you nervous even if you belong to those without material problems. Probably nobody got no problem. Even our presidents feel like children playing with dangerous toys and even rich and famous people get depressive without answer to this very last question. We all want to know the same: Why are we here? And the first secret of our social soul is to understand that our planet is both paradise and hell at the same time. No matter what happens after death it is up to the human race itself if we are organzised in a peaceful lovely joyful way or not in this actual period of being alive. The human race is an incredible true fairy-tale happening sOMewhere in space. It consists of you and me. That means each of us is same important as a little sweet nobody. And this is the second secret: it doesn't matter what you believe but if you respect the opinion of your concrete neighbour next door and nation after next. If we respect each other we cannot start wars but wish to talk about our problems honestly to understand the background of other viewpoints. And this is the third secret: We reached a no-face phase in the development of our beautiful civilization where we stopped cOMmunicating honestly - and everybody, presidents as well as the poorest among us, suffer from lies and fakes that are made of fears. No human being wants to depend on fakes to feel save. Our souls are crying because of this LACK OF LOVE. We pretend being lucky, smiling even in sad mood, and after years of faking we are so sad and sick that we want to change everything at once. And this is the next secret: terrorism, revolutions and any violence are the result of the SADNESS OF THE SOCIAL SOUL WITHOUT TOUCHING SOLUTIONS. If we go on pretending being cool and strong although we cannot see any sense in our life but just surviving til the end, then it's our own fault if amazing aspects of dystopian novels like 'Brave New World' and '1984' or movies like 'Matrix' and '2012' turn out to be already structurally true. And this is another secret of our soul: reality is constructed by our believes, so for example the so-called ending of the Mayan calendar is neither right nor wrong. You can decide in any second of your lifetime if you want to feel pure life beyond psychic projections & protections or if you depend on all these illusions. You are hypnotized like a zombie by anti-ecstatic education, dreaming your personal nightmare with open eyes. And this is the most shocking secret: We hypnotize each other already in school, because we forget the freedOM of our souls in traditional education systems. We invent SUPERFICIAL SUBSTITUTES FOR SOUL like religions (metaphysical hopes) & relationships (hedonistic ideals) to SUPPRESS OUR SADNESS but in the end we die without any deep answer. But what is that so-called soul at all? This is the last secret. It is the silent cellar in your cells like a virtual temple where you dare to be cOMpletely consciously honest to yourself. Where you talk to yourself like a self-made guardian angel or esoteric god or ancient spirit or buddhistic emptiness or however you declare it. It is the craziest human ability at all and a much bigger treasure than all diamonds, oil, electricity, atomic power and money together! To reach your soul is finally more important than your social position because your life will end up anyway but only your soul tells you why you feel your existence as senseful or not. A life without soul is a life without sense. And a life without sense makes people unlucky and treating each other in horrible ways. Would you prefer to be treated in a horrible or holy way? The answer is easy and the very last secret: even monsters want to be treated friendly to be tamed, so there is a chance to save our civilization by awaking our deepest wish in the farest corner of our collective consciousness: the wish to live in a friendly world that is no hell. We are the aliens ourselves. We are the ones flighing thru universe on a natural high-speed spaceship. We are living in a bio-chemical quantum-mechanical electric paradise creating weapons against ourself. We are incredible stupid if we do not wake up to feel the sensation of the most unexpected movie at all: real life!!! This is not a dream but a true fairy-tale. We are the animals that are able to speak. We got language. We got knowledge about our own existence. We got technology to improve paradise step by step to make life cOMfortable for all family members. This is the fantastic human race. It is so simple and well-known that nobody dares to talk about. But I did now because you are my friend. And friends should be honest to each other. Don't you agree? Love you forever. Take care... ...for your soul and try to return. NOW OR NEVER. In any moment you enable yourself to say NOW.



"Der Kernpunkt der Erfahrung scheint die innere Gewißheit zu sein, daß das unmittelbare JETZT, wie immer es geartet sein mag, das Ziel und die Erfüllung allen Lebens ist. (...) Der eine wird das Gefühl erlangen, daß sein Ego oder sein Selbst sich so weit ausdehnt, daß es das ganze Universum umfaßt [=Fülle], ein anderer wird meinen, er habe sich selbst gänzlich verloren und daß das, was er sein Ego nannte, niemals etwas anderes war als eine Abstraktion [=Leere]." Alan Watts, in:

Dies ist ES - Über Zen und spirituelle Erfahrung (1958)

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